i was in such a foul mood when i got home that i forgot what i really wanted to say.
recently i've been receiving numerous positive reviews about my new glasses, which i got 4 months ago. it was rather puzzling, so i went home and pondered over the general consensus. and i finally came to what i believe is an accurate conclusion:
the frame of my new glasses is so big and thick that it covers a significant part of my face. thereby making the world around me, or more specifically, around my face, look A LOT better. which explains the improved mood all round and thus, the positive reviews.
i really want to run somewhere far away, some place no one knows me or recognises me, sit in silence, smoke a fag, and comtemplate on the absolute screw-up that i am.
of course to smoke a fag i'd have to find a place where no one can identify me, and that place is probably far away and secret and quiet. like finland.
yes. and you think i will disclose my secret place to you.
i'm reminiscing about a lunch meeting 2 weeks ago with a friend i hadn't seen in a long while.
maybe this is a little belated, but i couldn't bear to live with the guilt of taking time away from work to do something as frivalous as blog. that said, i have no problems blogging in between an assignment that was due and completed 5hrs ago and 2 presentations in 11.5hrs and 14.5hrs respectively.
so i met up with a dear old friend two fridays ago. dear because he is a special friend, and old because, well, he is. haha. happy belated birthday.
so yes, that was the purpose of the meeting, a belated birthday celebration for a now even older friend.
lunch was a simple affair, a free meal at long john's jurong point.
we then sat at the landing of boon lay mrt and chatted for the length of some 3 trains. it was rather sweet, sitting at a windy spot of the landing, with our feet up on the marble seat, just talking. my fears about not making it through year 4, his assurance that things will get better, that everything will work out in the end.
seeing him again reminded me of how much i miss him, and how much i love him.
is it possible to love a friend who is male?
i suppose i do love my friends, like huazhen, kim and priscilla.
as i count down the days to the moment when i eventually and actually have to leave school to seek proper employment, i have been considering some viable options outside of marriage and unemployment.
and the following is the transcript of my father's speech, ad verbatim, recorded a day after i spoke to him about my possible prospects:
"eh the nuns are over there, why don't you go and ask them what they do? you go and ask them, 'sister, how do i become a nun?' then they will look at you, and then tell you, 'oh my god, am i drunk, or are you drunk?' and then you tell them, 'sister, how can you be drunk? nuns are not supposed to drink.'"
if faith can move mountains, i'm sure the trust people have in me NOT following through with the aforementioned career option will make the alps get up, walk over and give me a wedgie.
i plead temporary insanity, but in the past 3 and a half hours i did several things i swore i would never do.
i 1) read the blog of an ex-lit classmate, which i accidentally chanced upon while 2) reading the blog of another ex-lit project mate 3) at the expense of precious tv time--i only get 12hrs of tv a day, it was a senseless sacrifice i admit--and i 4) decided to do this survey that i discovered on the blog of the earlier.
forgive my language, my linguistic capabilities have been temporarily influenced by the language used on his blog. although it has been scrubbed clean, dettol-ed and toned down approximately 500 times. wait a minute. i am not a crazy stalker. i know he knows i exist, because he was one of the few souls who said hi to me in class. at this point, i take all the goodwill i can get.
........................................................ it was SEPTEMBER 1997... 1.) How old were you? 12 2.) Where did you go to school? CHIJ-OLGC 3.) Where did you work? from the living room floor in front of the tv 4.) Where did you live? ang mo kio 5.) Where did you hang out? amk central...no wait...whimsy, that arcade at thomson plaza 6.) Did you wear glasses? think i did… 7.) Who was your best friend? officially: rachel teo unofficially: tan shuqing 8.) How many tattoos did you have? none 9.) How many piercing did you have? two right where they should be on good convent girls--the EARLOBES 10.) What car did you drive? i had a 2-wheeler after i removed its training wheels...think it had ribbons on it... 11.) Had you been to a party yet? constance says i went to her 10th birthday party…when i was 10 too...i remember there were sardine sandwiches, and a merry-go-round that made us all puke. happening sia? 12.) Had your heart broken? no ............................................................ FIVE YEARS AGO It was SEPTEMBER 2002 1.) How old were you? 17 2.) Where did you go to school? njc good lord… 3.) Where did you work? nowhere, which explains my grades for that year... 4.) Where did you live? ang mo kio 5.) Where did you hang out? bukit timah, town, the nj track 7.) Who was/were your best friend(s)? huazhen 8.) Who was your regular-person crush? ask that question in 2003 and you’ll have yourself an answer 9.) How many tattoos did you have? 0 10.) How many piercing did you have? 4 11.) What car did you drive? none. no more bike even lah. 12.) Did you have your heart broken? not yet .......................................................... NOW... in SEPTEMBER 2007 1.) How old are you? (12+5+5=) 22 do the math, moron. i can't count. i went to arts and became a lit student. 2.) Where do you work/study? nus, starbucks support centre 3.) Where do you live? ang mo kio 4.) Do you wear glasses? yes 5.) Where do you hang out? home, arts canteen and, considering the amount of time i spend in there, my toilet 6.) Who are your best friends? huazhen, priscilla ok fine...with great reluctance i include kim and liza given the insanely amount of time we're stuck together, its not a friendship anymore...we might as well form a band, call it SHE and sing lun dun da qiao kua xia lai...looks damn vugar, i know. hanyu pinyin cool. 8.) Do you talk to your old friends? i try to think about them…and then i ask myself out loud why i ever became friends with them, and then i wish out loud for our paths never to cross. does that count as talking? 9.) How many piercing do you have? uhh… seven. at least something in my life is expanding, right? 10.) How many tattoos? 0 how many i wish i had? 4 11.) What kind of car do you drive? none. no bike, no lorry, no ride. 12.) Has your heart been broken? dropped on the ground, trampled on and shot in the gut. but it survived. it's good.
and 5) i wrote a ridiculously long blog entry about the inane things i did in the past 3 and a half hours, which i swore i would never do because only them braindead buggers talk about their boring pointless days on their blogs. i want to rant, but i think it's going to be a classic that i shall leave as an entry of its own. and yet, that is exactly what i did. worse, 6) the survey only wanted to know about the 3 years in which nothing signficant happened. maybe i should do it next year when the 5-year intervals coincide with years in which things did happen.
