A Case Of De Ja Vu

recently i joined the nus lion dance troupe, and i got to know a fellow team mate at the annual cny celebratory steamboat dinner last night. he was sitting opposite me so we were kinda sharing the two pots of soup.
apparently he's one year my senior from nj.

but the creepy thing is,
he totally reminds me of jing liang...
i mean , not only do they look really alike, but they talk the same way, and they even have the same offbeat-yet-endearing cheena sense of humour...

and if that's not bizarre enough, he even has a qiu jie!!!
it's this guy who's like his classmate since sec 1, his buddy all the way through to nus lion dance...and this guy looks kinda like qiu jie, and dresses like qiu jie too!!! (the whole collared buttoned up shirt thing...)

i never thought i'd ever say this in this lifetime, but thank goodness they're from chinese high...

know what his name is?
jinyao.

...
ok enough with the twilight zone soundtrack.

anyway i was trying to make sense of all this, and i kinda realised where it's all heading.
i was feeling quite fed up after i joined the troupe because i felt really alone and out of place there. i was really sick of always having to try and make contact when they seemed to have absolutely no desire to make conversation with me. -twirl lock of blond hair- i mean, like, the guys weren't talking to me because, like, i'm a girl (oh boo hoo hoo)...and the girls...well...they just weren't talking to me. basically i couldn't get past two sentences with any of them. and the only person not ignoring me was hong kai, i suppose just because he was the one who pulled me into the cca.
thing is, i guess now it sort of makes it a lot easier to talk to them. call it a false sense of familiarity, but i feel a lot less intimidated about having to make the first move and approaching any of them.

somehow, i feel like i'm back home.

now, i fully understand when they say that God has a sense of humour.

just because.

why do i love you?

just because.

Oh...My Eyes...I Wish That I Were Blind...

just when you thought you had seen the vilest of evil...

i was in school 2 days ago and i was hunting for a toilet before heading home. well mobility is greatly hindered when you're in a foul mood and lugging a monstrous pile of 4 books and a heavy bag, and when one toilet in the cursed library is closed for cleaning you leave the cool air-conditioned place to look elsewhere. so i decided to try my luck at the next nearest toilet which was a bloody 5-minute walk away. and just when i rounded the bend to get to the toilet...

oh.
my.
gosh.
my eyes...oh mine eyes...these innocent eyes...

there was a fucking couple getting it on
against the wall
in front of the staircase
leading to MY toilet...
knnbccb...
now, in case you're thinking i was snooping around some deserted park looking for a lonesome tree i could piss next to,
please...
the toilet was next to a lecture theatre for goodness sake, and there were people studying at the benches barely 5m away, in full view of the fucking couple...
and they were making out fucking inches away from me...
ugh...absolute, total disguest...
seriously, get a room...


then again, don't bother.
just get away from me.
get far, far, far the hell away from me.
before i rip my guts out and strangle the both of you with them.
together.
and after that i will tie a nice big bow with them.

how's that for romance, huh?
now, who says i'm not a romantic?

Shut Up And Go Away

stop telling me what to do
if it could be done, don't you think i would have done it myself?
i've heard just about every single possible solution from just about every single person and obviously, nothing's worked.
at all.
not in the least.
so unless you're here to convince me that killing myself is the only solution
then just read the title
and leave me alone.

i will go cover my face with my pillow.

A Desperate Plea

i can't go through another breakup...
i just can't...










and i don't know how i'm supposed to get through this...
i really don't...