The Last Time I Wanted To Die...

...was one hour ago...stuck in a cab with one of the loathes of my life, a particular above-mentioned senior, as he was whispering sweet nothings to a particular lady friend over the phone ('whispering', if you were deaf)...even closing my eyes did nothing to mask out the horrible noise..."aiyoh it's even more piercing when you say that..."...my skin was crawling so hard i was wishing that i could jump right out of the moving cab...hey i wasn't eavesdropping, i'm only sorry i wasn't TOTALLY deaf...
please let me die...

spent about half an hour after training talking to my coach and the above-mentioned senior about an above-mentioned asshole...at first i was upset with myself for not being able to do anything while he terrorised my junior, but now i think i'm also upset with the person he is attached to from our troupe for standing by and doing nothing to stop him. this is based on the assumption that she had no part in the whole matter. if she can look on as an outsider bullies her own junior, i really don't know whether to call it love, or betrayal. if she won't take care of her own juniors, i don't see how she can expect outsiders like this to respect them. watching her boyfriend stand up for her (pun unintended) may seem romantic to her, but all i see is an asshole making a lame attempt at raising himself up from pond scum status by putting others down.
i suppose we are all a little confused when it comes to her because on the one hand, she is still one of us; on the other hand, taking cue from a chinese saying, daughters that have been married off are like water that has been poured out: you can't get them back. plus she's found love an...an asshole...'nuff said.

i guess this is a classic case of sleeping with the enemy. well, sleep with the enemy, and you get shot dead at the frontline.