The Longest Day: 1 Week On

just realised i made my blog more public than i'd intended to...oh well...

what the ****...these few days have been bad...really wish there was someone who would tell me that everything is going to be alright, that things will be back the way they were...but i guess no one believes that sort of shit anymore...all i've been getting is that things will get better, that i will get better, and that better things will come my way...i would pay for some hope around here...but then again, i've also been told not to get my hopes up at all...
bloody hell i'm really feeling like crap...as much as everyone thinks i'm ok, and as much as i wish i was ok, I'M NOT...and i don't care if everyone saw it coming or knew it was going to happen, i certainly did not want it to happen, then and there...
ok now i feel real stupid...for being the only one who's getting upset and beating myself up when he's probably left everything behind and moved on...how is it possible to let go of everything so easily and continue as though nothing that mattered happened?
guess i've been a whiny wreck...buy hey it's my blog, and i reserve the right to...so there...

on a lighter note, my Christmas tree's up...yiippee...with spanking new decorations...yiippee...and it's finally got a star on top...yiippee...
yeap...so spread a little love to me this Christmas and fill up the space under my tree...